Sleepy Mamas

You know how it is; you come downstairs at 530 after your 14 month old decides it’s time for everyone to get up for the day, and rather than sit with you calmly whilst you quietly watch some postman pat and regain conciousness, they want to play with their drums or play grab your tounge. This post is to help you and your little one find common ground between sleepy lions and the let’s-hit-this-metal-drum-with-a-tea- spoon-I just-found-under-the-fridge game.

During a bad patch of sleep, the days and nights became incredibly blurred. Another day would roll around after I’d only slept a total of 3 hours or so, usually in fragmented bits, and I would wonder how on earth I was going to do the day. My child would wake, and if my wonderful husband couldnt take time off he would take her for 2 glorious hours before work so I could sleep, and I would stretch and yawn and sprawl under the covers before closing my eyes. Sometimes I would drift off straight away, and those 2 little hours were like a bridge that helped me cross from disaterous night to just about manageable day. Othertimes, I would not drift off, and instead, a river of feelings would cascade through my mind, flooding me with unwanted thoughts which I was unable to hold back. Queue dread and resentment. Queue guilt for not wanting to spend time with my beautiful child. Queue a torent of sadness that this is still my reality after how many weeks? Queue pain and discomfort in my nipples and back and shoulder. Queue a clench of deep frustration that though I was loving motherhood (and EYFS learning in particular) and feeling a deep sense of purpose and fufilmemt, I also felt trapped, unstable, frequently full of rage, frightened, lost, alone, and not able to do my best or even enjoy my day. Queue hatred of my own tragic, depressing and negative internal monolouge. Queue said rage. Queue tears. Lots of them!

After the tears had past, and the torrent of thoughts had calmed, I would sleep if I was able. If I couldnt sleep, I would get up.

My child is like a portable sunshine machine. Wherever she goes, sunsine, laughter, fun, warmth and joy are sure to follow. Dont get me wrong, she’s a absolute monster like every other child too, especially when were both tiered! But I learnt that on these particularly bad days when I felt most alone, it was best to stay close to her, even if my instinct was to distance myself as much as possible. She always had great ideas for how we could have a lovely day, what she could play or do or eat. My job was to try and tune into these ideas then facilitate them, usually, (at least for the first slodge of the day) from sitting or lying on the sofa or floor. Most of the time she was happy for me to be a sleepy spectator of her play, and I would lie and watch as she played with that days found activity like trying to put the caps back on a pair of milk bottles or filling then emptying a plastic strawberry punnet. (Or banging her drum. Joy of joys.) Once her attention shifted back to mummy however, there are lots of options I could have beside me on the floor or sofa, then let her explore.

1. Stickers. The joy of stickers! Have a pack each and cover one another. Clear it up later. When your lying on the floor or sofa your little one will have an enormous canvas to play with. Let them choose where they would like to decorate you, and use it as a way of teaching them body parts. Children love repitition, so be prepared for a smothering! I really like the chunky dinosaur stickers from sainsburys as they were easy to grab, peal and reuse.

2. Books. Where would I be without books? Reading is relaxing and engaging for both you and little one. Once you’ve read the words, go back and dictate the pictures, or identify objects, or pick out colours. Where it is as a hat, sing the words like a song! And once you’ve read them all see if little one can stack them. The Usbourne ‘Thats not my’ range or Nosy Crow’s ‘Where’s Mr …’ series are still firm favourites. Theres usually plenty of second hand bundles of these online too. Once youre ready to be up and going for the day, a trip to the library is a wonderful, free activity. Enjoy looking at lots of books, and take a bag to bring a good haul home for later!

3. Chalk. For this you will need a colouring pad, preferably with blue or black paper. Rest it on your tummy and let little one scribble away.

4. Hide and seek. Grab a finger puppet or small toy. Get your little one to walk away, spin around, or cover their eyes, then hide little toy somewhere within reach on the sofa. See if they can find it and grab it each time. When youre up and about from the sofa, you can do this game with a bigger toy using the whole room as a hiding place.

5. Sock ball. Roll your socks into a ball and play throw it around! Your little one will enjoy trying to catch, throw and retrieve the ball.

6. Sing. Old macdonald had the entire animal kingdom is our favourite! Clapping, animal noises and tickling are all essential factors of this game.

7. Cushion time. My mum made up a game with our daughter called ‘wobble wobble’ which she now asks for all the time! Place a cushion on the floor. Get your child to stand on it whilst you hold both their hands. Together say ‘whoah, whooaah, whhoooaah!!!’ Then jump off. Guarenteed ‘again’ material.

So there we are! I hope this keeps you busy for the next 20 minutes or so! Remember you are fabulous and doing your best. Remember you are only human and its ok to just show up with 1% and that’s enough. You dont need the full 100 every day. Remember you are aloud to stick Postman Pat on the telly for as long as you need and eat takeaway and not clear anything up all day and don’t you dare feel guilty about it! This isnt permanent. And finally, remember you are not alone. Keep reaching out to someone you trust whenever you need to.

Love, Sleepymama xxxx