Sleepy Mamas

As the sun shines over a brand new year, I am eager to enjoy whatever this next chapter holds for us all. Since having another child, life has evolved and changed once again, and if  having one child was a learning curve, going from one to two has been more like a learning cliff. For some reason best beknown to my children, they do not sleep very well, and I am determined to keep sharing my experiences to other parents to offer whatever help or hope they need to keep going! Whilst it is true they struggle to stay asleep for long periods of time, the second is proving to be a less difficult than the first, and both are beginning to allow me a few more hours a night and in the day to focus on myself. So, what to focus on? How as a mum of two with a few hours to spare am I learning to focus on myself and not get sucked into the ongoing vortex of household and life maintenance?

1. Reading
   I don’t know why but I stopped reading. Well, I do know why. I became pregnant, was living with HG and not sleeping. The idea of doing anything other than the key survival mechanisms seemed comical, and everything was dwarfed beneath the mountain that was our overall household sleep problem. So whilst I enjoy scanning whatever I can here and there, the days spent curled up in a library armchair or under the covers with a delicious book to run away all day with have long gone. However, if we have all managed to catch a few hours sleep, I have found time before the house awakes to read a few pages in the first half hour of the day. I have found this time before bed also; not enough time to ravage a whole book, but enough for a healthy snack.
2. Cleansing my Skin
   I never knew such grounding could come from washing my face. 15 minutes to myself in the bathroom to properly cleanse, exfoliate and hydrate my skin has revolutionised ‘making time for myself’.(A phrase which I am convinced was created by someone who has never lived with a 2 year old.) Using grounding techniques in parallel with an activity I do everyday has enhanced both activities. I am not trying to make room for anything new, I am simply no longer rushing through something I was doing before.
3. A walk
   My children, my husband and I have recently started to take short walks together. It doesn’t last particularly long because little legs can only go so far. But we find everyone is lighting up and sparkling when they step outdoors whatever the weather, and although sometimes it is the last thing I want to do on only 4 hours sleep, I have not yet regretted the fresh air, lovely views, holding my husbands hand for 10 seconds and a few hugs from rosy cheeked children.
4. My husband
   The first few years of my first child’s life impacted the relationship with my husband significantly. As we came up for air and began to settle into parenthood, the arrival of our second plunged us once again in deep water with a similar struggle through pregnancy, birth and postpartum but also with a 2 year old in tow. So as we come up for air again with a little more experience and education than the first time, we have been able to turn a more towards each other in our spare time. The etymology around the word ‘partner’ includes to share, deriving from to part with, and I have definitely found that life as parents and partners involves a great deal of ‘parting with’ ourselves in order to share something together. Sharing our time whilst the children our sleeping, not just on doing chores or our own jobs, but facing one another without distraction, is proving to be most healing.
5. Writing
   Writing down my thoughts whatever they may be is the most wonderful way to spend time. Even if not one soul reads this little post, allowing my thoughts to manifest themselves into something tangible on this page is eternally satisfying. As is creative writing! To meet a sprite in your head as the beginnings of an idea and then to meet them again on the page as a fully formed character is a artistic expression I will never tire of.

Whilst a part of me becomes easily frustrated at always running out of time in my day to day life, or rushing from one activity to the next, another part celebrates that I have time to spend at all. I hope you find ways to enjoy spending your time, however if whilst reading this you are like me in a sleep slump; perplexed at the idea of anything other than eating, washing and trying to sleep where you can, don’t worry about how to spend your time, just try your best to savour it.

G xxx